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The O.C. is Ten Years Old

The O.C., as of today, is officially ten years old. Do you remember where you were when its pilot debuted? NEITHER DO I! I was in college and since it was in prime time I’m just gonna assume I’d been drinking.

But while I wasn’t on board initially, by the start of season two it was my favorite show. Hell, it might have been my only show; I didn’t watch much television back then.

There have been a lot of great things written on the show today. Obviously Danger Guerrero at UPROXX was going to have a post. This interview from Alan Sepinwall is huge and great. I managed to score a 32/50 on this quiz at Vulture. The O.C. had a lot of fans back then, and I think it’s only grown in appreciation with time. If you’ve seen the show, you know why: it’s funny, it has heart, it’s filled with outrageous situations and it’s filled with hella attractive people. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend picking up the DVDs. Fuck you, Netflix Watch Instantly.

Even with all the great reading material out there today regarding this great show, I couldn’t let the ten year anniversary pass without sharing some thoughts of my own. I may even have enough for an old school Ten Things:

1 – It made me realize that there’s no shame in liking what you like.

Some people never have to hide their relative embarrassment over their personal tastes. They like what they like and they have no problem if the entire world knows.

I wasn’t one of those people.

Maybe you’re a friend of mine and you’ve long known I have a soft spot for 90s boy bands and 80s hair metal. Maybe you knew me as a college senior when I wouldn’t click past a rom-com on cable (“YOU’VE GOT MAIL” IS CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED). Maybe you’ve seen what’s currently playing in my iTunes via G-Chat when I’ve gone entire afternoons playing Taylor Swift, Prince and Kelly Clarkson and I didn’t care if everyone on my contact list knew about it.

The guy I am now, the one that doesn’t give a shit about what people think, wasn’t who I was in 2003. Nope, back then I listened to my music with the door closed and the speakers down, mindful of what people in the dorms would say or think. Then The O.C. happened and my attitudes about such things started changing.

Like I said above, I don’t remember the exact moment I started to love The O.C. I do know it happened at some point during the summer between my senior and super senior year of college. But I came back to college that fall determined to get my roommates on board, and that’s exactly what happened. I took some shit initially for being hooked on a show whose primary target was teenage girls, but within weeks of playing the show up, every Tuesday night in our college house was was reserved for The OC. We debated the girls, laughed at Seth and bought the DVDs. Nothing to watch? Marathon session of The O.C.

All of the sudden my pop culture interests were less taboo. Other people like the same weird shit as me I relalized. No longer were my tastes in music and TV and movies something to hide, they were a fundamental part of who I was. I wore my interests (the weird and the normal) as a sort of a badge of honor, and have ever since.

2 – The music.

If there was one way to convince your friends to watch The O.C. that didn’t involve the ridiculous looking cast, it was the music they featured during every episode.

Just take a look at this list. I mean, holy shit, right?

I went a good decade-plus having never flipped on FM radio. The music I listened to was a result of friend recommendations, music message boards and soundtracks.

Oh, and TV shows. Nothing, certainly back then and perhaps to this day, has ever had a better soundtrack than The O.C.

The list I linked to speaks for itself. If you’re the kind of person that likes modern rock and pop that you didn’t necessarily hear on the radio (at least that’s how it was in my small college town), you were going to find new tunes you loved during every episode. Not all of it was from complete unknowns, but you did get a lot of new artists looking for exposure. The O.C. helped launch a lot of artists in the music industry.

My top ten favorite songs from the series:

10 – Silversun PIckups – Lazy Eye
9 – Liz Phair – Why Can’t I
8 – The All-American Rejects – Swing Swing
7 – The Alkaline Trio – We’ve Had Enough
6 – Placebo – Running up that Hill
5 – The Killers – Mr. Brightside
4 – Nada Surf – If you Leave
3 – Puddle of Mudd – Away from Me
2 – Ryan Adams – Wonderfwall
1 – Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah

3 – It’s legitimately hilarious.

I’ve grown to love some good comedy on TV. Archer, Happy Endings, Cougar Town and The League are among my favorite shows to watch and they’ll have me laughing like a bastard, week in and week out. But those shows all fit the 22 minute sitcom mold. The O.C. was a 44 minute drama that could regularly make you laugh with its crazy good wit.

Honestly, the wit was the best thing about the show. I like smart, quick characters that say the right thing at the right moment more often than not. It’s why I love Sorkin. The O.C. gets it right in the form of characters that make you wish you were a little quicker with your one liners. I’d watch the O.C., and steal just about every line I could remember.

They were usually said by this guy…

4 – Seth is the fucking best.

Seth Cohen is one of my two or three favorite characters in television history. The awkward nerd with the one liners and ability to get the girl in the end was the dude that other awkward dudes wanted to be.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9sKCxbuN14&w=420&h=315]

Never change, Seth Cohen.

OH. AND SPEAKING OF…

5 – Anna > Summer.

Anna is better than season one Summer, and THAT’S NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUCKING DISPUTABLE. Sorry, Mr. Guerrero.

Let’s just recap who Summer was and what she did prior to Anna leaving Seth’s life forever:

• she doesn’t even know who Seth is despite his efforts, repeatedly gets his name wrong
• uses Seth’s crush as a way to get invited to a party, ditches him to hit on banker bros
• dumps Seth prior to Cotillion when she thinks she can get a better date
• won’t acknowledge she’s friends with Seth when it actually does happen
• gets hella jealous only when Seth choses Anna, tries to break them up
• generally acts like a spoiled twat for the majority of the season

Ugh, Season One Summer was shitty.

MEANWHILE, Anna is the girl love you to hang out with. She knows all the best bands, likes the same shit you do, helps you out with other girls until you realize that she’s the one who’s totally perfect.

Team freaking Anna forever, man.

6 – You can thank The O.C. for Olivia Wilde, you ungrateful jerks.

That said, Anna didn’t take the title as the top reason for red blooded hetero boys and lesbian gals to turn in. It wasn’t Summer or Marissa either. Nope, that title goes to Alex, a lovely young lady played by total newcomer Olivia Wilde.

Alex

Look, I’m not saying it wasn’t easy to get my friends hooked on this show, but I’d be lying if I said having the bisexual Alex as a key cast member in season two hurt the efforts. She was jaw-droppingly hot. She dated both Seth AND Marissa, and it lead to one of the series best moments. You will want to watch this, ya’ll:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-F6WjTm_z0&w=560&h=315]

Side note, I’ve always found it hilarious that in the video there’s a bottle of J&B just sitting there on a teenage girl’s shelf. Solid choice.

I like to think that it was her role on The O.C. that directly lead to her becoming one of the biggest stars on the planet. Mischa Barton, the other girl in that video, did not go on to superstardom. The reason is obvious now, but back then…

7 – Holy shit, Mischa Barton couldn’t act.

Look, I didn’t watch a lot of TV. I blame my lack of TV viewing experience to explain the fact that back then I didn’t have a problem with Mischa Barton’s character Marissa. It was only after I rewatched the series years later that it was almost painful to watch her try and act. Holy shit she’s awful.

This revelation will be especially noteworthy to my college friends from back then (HI GUYS IF YOU’RE READING THIS LET’S GET DRINKS AND CATCH UP AND STUFF). I, um, had a thing for miss Marissa Cooper. I may or may not have mumbled to myself whenever she’d show up on screen, annoying my friends. She was a damn goddess. Guys, despite the acting issues, she alone makes the show worth watching.

Still can’t act, though.

8 – The fourth season was great.

The first season of The O.C. was amazing.

The second season had some amazing episodes, but signs of erosion were there. Critics opined that they burned through all their ideas too soon.

The third season is where the show went completely off the rails. Good god it was terrible. The audience lost its following, writers stopped doing recaps, people moved on.

Then a weird thing happened: the show got really good again, and nobody watched.

I’m a West Wing nut. I’ve seen the Sorkin era episodes a minimum of ten times over the last ten years. They were spectacular. But when he left the show, the writing got bad by West Wing standards and most people have to add the caveat that when discussing TWW’s greatness, you only speak of the first four seasons.

But those that stuck around know that at the tail-end, in a shortened final season, The West Wing rebounded with some of the best episodes and arcs in series history.

It’s the same story with The O.C.. The last season is legitimately great. They graduated past cliched high school bullshit, gone was the criminal low life element they used in the third season to add drama, the characters were now adults and dealing with more mature plots lines, TAYLOR TOWNSEND DIDN’T SUCK AND WAS TOTALLY ADORABLE.

9 – It was completely ahead of its time.

If there’s a hint of resentment I may have regarding The O.C., its that it came about ten years too early.

TV today is aided greatly by social media. It turns everything you watch live into a social event. Don’t believe me? Log onto Twitter during Mad Men or Game of Thrones or Archer or virtually any sporting event. Appointment TV plus Twitter means you’re never watching anything alone. The world is watching with you (or it seems that way) and you’re able to get real time opinions on everything.

The O.C., in 2003 and 2004, was appointment TV. It was a show loaded with snark and humor and plot twists. It was the kind of show that the Twitter generation could eat up and discuss for days. I can’t even imagine what the online reaction would be to it today.

Guys, what I’m saying is we should all re-watch The O.C. and comment about it on Twitter, basically.

10 – The Best Episodes (according to me)

You have to start from the beginning. You can skip the third episode where Ryan’s mom gets drunk and embarrasses him, but other than that you should watch the whole series. Once you’ve done that, I’m confident you’ll agree with my rankings:

5 – Pilot – Welcome to the O.C., bitch.

4 – The Ties that Bind – Season one finale. CLIFFHANGERS GALORE.

3 – The Countdown – Ryan botches it when Marissa says I love you and it’s totally hilarious. Oliver’s dreams get smashed on New Years. Fuck Oliver, he sucked.

2 – The Dearly Beloved – An important cast member is buried, another one is shot, hella big cliff hanger.

1 – The Rainy Day Women – Seth finds out about Alex and Marissa, Summer makes her choice re: Seth, Lindsey finds out who her father is. It’s pretty much the perfect episode of TV.

The Bucks acquire Brandon Knight, get considerably worse

Brandon Jennings is a below average point guard.

His true shooting percentage ranks 53rd among qualified PGs. His offensive points per possession mark of .88 ranks 260th overall. His defensive PPP mark of .90 puts him at 279th. His on/off court net of -4.4 ranked last amongst guards on the Milwaukee Bucks in ’12-13. As a pick and roll ball handler his shot selection often ranged from below average to downright maddening.

Nope.

Yesterday the Bucks traded the guard to the Detroit Pistons, and in return they received his potential replacement in Brandon Knight. I say potential, because while the Bucks have seemingly been operating under a win-now mandate under owner Herb Kohl, Knight represents a considerable downgrade at the point guard position. He won’t be winning the Bucks any more games in the ’13-’14 than Jennings would have. He likely loses them significantly more if he’s given starter minutes.

All data from NBA.com, Basketball Reference and Synergy.

The Numbers.

• Among guards to play at least thirty minutes a night last season, Knight ranked dead last in Win Shares per 48 minutes with a mark of .022.

• His true shooting percentage was only slightly better than Jennings, coming in at .512

• His shot-chart indicates below average efficiency at the rim, a location where he took the majority of his attempts: Shotchart

• While he was a net negative on the court, just as all but two Detroit Pistons were last season, he did have the best mark amongst guards at -3.1. For reference, Rodney Stuckey was -7.4 and Jose Calderon was -10.7.

• His overall PPP mark on offense is .83, ranking 338 in the NBA. Jennings ranked 260th.

• His primary situation on offense came as a pick and roll ball handler, and in that role he generated .69 points per possession, an abysmal mark than ranked 133rd in the NBA. The Pistons only scored 34% of the time with Knight in that situation.

• The second most prominent role was in transition, where his 45% scoring mark ranks 276th.

• His third most prominent role was as a spot up shooter, and the numbers are no more encouraging. His PPP mark of .99 ranks 153rd in the NBA, thanks to the Pistons scoring on only 35% of those possessions.

• Maybe most notably, 20% of Knight’s pick and roll possessions ended in turnovers.

• The Bucks can expect slight improvement on the defensive side of the ball: while Jennings allowed .9 PPP (279th), Knight allowed .87 (195th). It is notable that as a defender of the pick and roll ball handler, Jennings allowed 42% shooting and Knight allowed 45% shooting.

The Video.

When looking at PG play, it’s important to note how players work in a pick and roll setting. As noted above, Knight struggled with efficiency and turnovers. The following video illustrates some of those issues:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GewNYUlTnag&w=560&h=315]

It’s also important to look at how they performed in transition. Again, Knight struggled:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XddUZar59o&w=560&h=315]

Overall.

It’s difficult to reconcile having a win-now goal while adding one of the worst players in the entire league. The Bucks could conceivably play Luke Ridnour as the primary point point and be better than they were last season, but it’s unclear if that’s their intention at this point. What is clear is that Knight represents a significant downgrade at point guard, and for a team looking to compete for the 8th seed in the East, he severely hurts their chances if given any kind of substantial minutes.

Grilling, or, The Reason Why I’m Glad I’m No Longer In An Apartment

For exactly one year I lived in an apartment in the city. I was a less than a block away from a farmer’s market, three bars, two cafes, one coffee shop, a volleyball court, a park, a bike trail and a convenience store. It was pretty great.

Now I live in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, a nature preserve across the street, the closest business is three miles away and it’s totally cool with me. A big reason why? This thing:

Mmmmm......blackened meat.
Mmmmm……blackened meat.

I love me some charcoal grilling and in an apartment on the second floor, that’s a no-no.

Grilling is one of my favorite ways to spend time. I’m the kind of person that comes home and before they’re even out of their office clothes has a chimney full of coals lit. A nice day to me is just an excuse to stand over some grilled food, tongs in one hand and a drink in the other.

Since this isn’t one of those things where you can have any other opinion other than GRILLING IS AWESOME, I’m gonna share a meal made almost entirely on the grill. Like a lot of my recipes, this one has southwestern influences. Like your food to have some heat? This one will be for you.

    Grilled flat iron steak fajitas, corn salad with guacamole & chipotle aioli.

Tools:
Grill
Cast iron pan
Cheap red wine (for drinking, silly)

Ingredients:

12 tortillas
2.5 lbs flat iron steak
3 ears of corn
2 avocados
5 bell peppers
2 jalapenos
1 red onion
4 limes, zest of two limes
1 lemon
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 bunch cilantro
1 egg
3 chipotle chiles in adobo sauce, minced (usually found in small cans in your grocery store in the international foods aisle. You just need one can)
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 tsp ground chipotle pepper
1 tsp Old Bay seasoning (for the veggies, you can use whatever seasoning you prefer)
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 1/2 cups olive oil, divided
kosher salt
ground black pepper

See, it's not so many when you really look at it.
See, it’s not so many when you really look at it.

Serves: 6 really hungry people
Total Time: 7 hours

Directions:

1 – Marinade the meat.

In a zip lock gallon bag combine the juice of two limes, the zest of two limes, two cloves of garlic (minced), ground chipotle pepper, 1/2 tsp of salt, a half cup of olive oil and the flat iron steak. Mix it to combine and coat the meat. Put the bag in your refrigerator for no more than six hours.

FAST FORWARD SIX HOURS.

Remove the steak from your fridge, let it sit in the marinated mixture on your kitchen counter and let it come to room temperature. This is important so don’t forget. You don’t want to be grilling cold meat.

If you’re using a charcoal grill, you can light your coals. I use a chimney starter and it usually takes at least 30 minutes to get the coals white. While your coals are getting ready, you can prepare the rest of your meal.

2 – Make the aioli.

There’s a restaurant in my town that serves a grilled tuna sandwich with a chipotle aioli. After having it once, I became obsessed and whenever I visit this place it doesn’t matter what I order, I have to have the chipotle aioli with it.

Thankfully, it’s really easy to replicate at home. You don’t even need to date one of the waitresses and coax the recipe out of them like some people have been known to do from time to time.

In a food processor, add the mustard, one smashed garlic clove, chipotle chiles with one tsp adobo sauce, juice of half a lemon, one egg yolk and a pinch of salt. While you process the mixture, SLOWLY pour 1/2 cup olive oil* into the bowl. This should take multiple minutes. You’ll know you’re finished when you’re left with something that has the consistency of mayo.

If you don’t have a food processor, you can simply use a large mixing bowl instead. Mince the garlic instead of smashing it, and strongly whisk olive oil into the mixture a few drops at a time. If you go this route you don’t have to worry about the calories you’re soon to consume, because you’re about to have a 15 minute workout in your kitchen.

*While we’re on the subject of olive oil, can I simply say that ya’ll need to step your olive oil game up? I cook in many of my friends and relatives’ kitchens, and it’s a lock that I’ll see the same crappy bottle of olive oil that they’ve had for an entire year or more. If you’re a home cook, quality olive oil important. Buy only high quality olive oil, and never keep a bottle (stored in a dark area) more than six months. If your olive oil is older than six months, toss it and go get a new bottle. I like California Olive Ranch, and for the aoili part of the recipe I used their Miller’s Blend for the peppery note.

When your aioli is complete, store it in a covered container in your refrigerator.

3 – Make the guacamole

God, I freaking love guac. I’m not kidding when I say I make at least two batches a week. Often times it’s three. I consider it to be the ALMOST perfect (seriously? The browning?) food. You will never look in my fridge and not find limes, avocados, cilantro (or that cilantro oil paste that comes in the tube [seriously. It’s actually perfect for guac]), red onions and jalapenos.

Making it is quick and easy.

In a medium sized bowl add:

• 1/4th of a red onion, finely diced
• 1/2 jalapeno with the stems and seeds, minced
• 1 tbsp cilantro, finely chopped, or one tablespoon of that cilantro paste (no, go ahead and use it, I won’t judge. Seriously, the stuff is great)
• the juice of one lime
• 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• 1/4 tsp black pepper
• 2 avocados

The order here is relatively important. You want to add the avocados last to minimize the exposure to air.

Use a fork (or a mortar, ideally) and mash your ingredients. You want it mixed well, creamy but still a bit chunky.

Put it in a AIR TIGHT container that just barely holds all your guac. Again, less air the better. Into the fridge it goes.

4 – Prepare your veggies.

This step is easy.

Julienne your bell peppers and remaining jalapeno and red onion*. Put them in your cast iron pan, drizzle them with a tablespoon of olive oil, add a pinch of kosher salt and a tablespoon of your favorite seasoning. I like Old Bay so I use that. Toss them around and these are ready.

*Reserve about half a bell pepper and half a jalapeno. Dice these and save them in a bowl. They’re going in your corn salad.

5 – Shuck the corn

Shuck your corn cobs, lightly coat them with olive oil and sprinkle on some kosher salt.  Like almost everything else, you’re going to be grilling your corn. Some people prefer to leave the husk on the corn. I’m not one of those people. I grill them directly over the coals until about 20% of the kernels are good and brown.

IT’S GRILLIN’ TIME, PEOPLE.

Here’s about where you should be at:

Wait for it...
Wait for it…

6 – Grill the corn.

Take a look at a picture of the grilled meat at the top of this post. Notice how I’m using a two-zone grilling setup? That’s what you want. Organize your coals so only one half of the bowl is filled. If you’re using gas, only light half the burners.

Using paper towels coated in olive oil and tongs, wipe the grates with olive oil.

Place the corn on the grates, directly over the coals. You’re going to rotate them every minute or so until the coals start to turn dark. Grilled corn is awesome.

When the corn is done, remove them and cover the grill to let it heat up. Bring them in to cool.

7 – Grill everything else.

Place the steak directly over the coals. Place the cast iron pan with your veggies on the side of the grate without coals. Occasionally toss the veggies with tongs.

After four minutes, flip the steak. Splash the veggies with your remaining half of a lemon and bring them in.

BE CAREFUL WHEN HANDLING THE CAST IRON PAN. I have a pair of industrial work gloves that I use when grilling. Use whatever you can to help you safely move your food around the grill.

After the four minutes are up, your steak should be a nice medium rare. Bring the steak inside.

8 – Tent your steaks in tinfoil.

One step a lot of people skip is they immediately dig in to their steak after grilling. You need to let it rest for a few minutes to retain much of the juices. I usually wrap my steaks in foil to keep them warm.

9 – Mix the rest of your corn salad.

Remember the diced pepper and jalapeño you kept in a bowl? To that bowl you’re going to add your no-longer-hot-but-still-warm grilled corn.

Using a knife, carefully remove the corn kernels by standing the cob up and slicing them off vertically.

Add them to the bowl of diced peppers and jalapeños, along with 1/2 tsp cumin, 1/2 tsp olive oil, the juice of half a lime and a pinch of kosher salt.

10 – EAT ALL THE FOOD.

YOU'RE DONE. EAT UP.
YOU’RE DONE. EAT UP.
NOTE: The Author does not endorse the use of sour cream. That is his brother.
NOTE: The Author does not endorse the use of sour cream. That is his brother.

On being ‘locked in’.

This will be brief.

On Twitter tonight there was a discussion of whether or not an athlete performing really well for a stretch was something that could be contributed to a guy actually feeling hot.

ESPN’s Keith Law is one of my favorite guys to follow. He gives you sports analysis from a smart, objective take. Tonight, predictably, he came down on the side that hot streaks were a result of normal randomness, citing a lack of evidence to the contrary. MLB pitcher Brandon McCarthy, another really smart guy, came down on the other side. “Feeling hot” or “Locked in” is a legitimate thing that comes and goes and it absolutely affects on the field performance.

The two (and a lot of others) got into a back and forth for a couple hours and looking at it from the outside it felt like mommy and daddy fighting. I want them to agree on everything all the time, but of course that isn’t going to happen. But I thought it was fascinating to watch, the analyst going strick science, the athlete saying he’s wrong but without any kind of irrefutable evidence.

Here’s my own take: being hot exists. Being “dialed in” is absolutely a thing. I don’t know how or why it happens, but there are times where you just feel like failing is impossible. If you’re an athlete and you’ve had a stretch or even just a game where you had the feeling, you’re probably nodding along. I still remember the few occasions it happened to me like they were yesterday. It’s bittersweet; you beat yourself up wondering why you can’t feel like that all time.

Conversely, I know exactly what it feels like to go cold. Baseball was my sport and pitching was what I was best at. But I know the terror of being on the mound and having absolutely no idea where the ball is going to go when you release it. I remember a specific game when my catcher popped out for a mound visit and I had to tell him I basically forgot how to pitch. Right there, that game I went from being an all-conference guy to someone who just picked up a baseball for the first time.

I don’t know why these things happen. The brain is weird.

Chicago: Day 6

This weather can kiss my fucking ass.

My (our) reward for setting up the show and being the grunts for the duration is leaving in the morning on the last day. We get home to EC while the final day of the show is just ending. It feels so goddamn great. I’d have left days ago if I could, so any second spent here is one I’d rather be spent on my couch or in my office. That asshole bitch piece of shit mother-nature had other plans.

We’re stuck here another day and night. That means another day of grunt work, and instead of leaving the take-down to a couple local sales people, they’re heading home and we get the honors. Honestly, though, it’s preferable to driving home to what we thought we were going to. It looks like it’ll be hellish. If I wasn’t going to be able to drive home tonight, an extra day is a small price to pay for not having to worry about losing your life in a fucking blizzard.

***

I don’t like to give off the impression that I like people. My close friends and coworkers know otherwise, but if people think that their presence is bothering you, they don’t start in with stupid conversation to fill time when they’re around you, and I love that. But every once in a while I’ll meet people and it’s pretty great. Today was kind of cool:

• the guy on the barstool next to me while I waited for my dinner takeout. He was in town for the same reason I was, was also from Wisconsin, knew my boss and others I worked with, and holy shit: his cousin was my 7th grade social studies teacher and 8th grade football coach hella many years ago.

• the pretty gal I got to know when we hung out and drank wine on the couches in my hotel lobby while waiting for other people. She, again, was here for the show, was from South Wales, and accents are officially the best.

• and my dumb weekend crush.

This show is conducive to people watching. The overwhelming majority of the time you’re standing around, looking at your phone or laptop or finding some way to keep busy. The men check out the women walking around the floor, the women check out the men AND the women (“She should NOT be wearing that skirt at her age.”) For me that means a couple hours a day I’m cooking and serving. But the rest of the time I’m in a chair in the back on my phone, or out front demoing our products for the public. It’s here where I’m inevitably gonna find myself looking next door at the girl demoing the blender and serving greek yogurt and smoothies.

***

“…a type more Greek than Italian.”

I don’t know why that quote from The Godfather went through my head every time I found myself looking at the beauty next door, but it did. She was setting up when we were and ever since has seemingly had my role: not a salesperson but the one who’s making the food and bringing people into to the booth with demos. I may or may have may not made a comment to my friend Jamie about how she was about the prettiest girl I’d seen this weekend and she more or less shamed me into going over and talking to her. So I did.

She’s from NYC and she’s the video director for her company. She hates her tiny apartment but loves her job. She basically has brown eyes you get lost in because while she’s talking that’s pretty much what happened to me and I can’t remember a whole lot else.

So sticking around another day won’t be so bad.

Dinner:

Where: Mother Hubbard Sports Bar
Kind: Hole in the wall (OR SO I THOUGHT) sports bar
Crowd: Out of town business dudes
Atmosphere: Awesome. May as well be your neighborhood pub
Food: Sausage and pepperoni pizza
Drink: Bulleit Rye old fashioned neat, sweet no fruit; Makers Mark double, neat
Verdict: Pizza was fine but not a place I’d go to again, even if it was EC. HOLY FUCK, THE DRINKS. This is a text-book case of never judge a bar by its cover. Most specialty drinks I’ve come across this week are in the $9-$11 range. My two ran me $30. Holy ish.

I’m blaming the boss; he recommended the place.

You should be watching Archer

If you made your way here via my Twitter feed you already know Archer is probably my favorite thing on TV. It’s brilliant, profane, offensive and the funniest thing on television, and it’s not close.

I was late to Archer. I didn’t start watching on a week to week basis until season three when the first two hit Netflix. I think I watched every episode in two days.

Anyway, I bring this up for two reasons:

1 – A new episode of Archer is on right now, I can’t watch it until later, and my Twitter timeline is blowing up. I closed it to write this post.

2 – Youtube suggested I’d like a video, “Archer – The Best of Pam Pt. 1”. Some national hero went through the first three seasons of Archer and made compilation videos for the best of Pam and Cheryl, two of the show’s best characters (they’re all amazing).

Here’s the 2nd of the three videos. I chose it instead of the 1st because by this time Pam’s become a fully fleshed out character. There’s some spoilerish stuff but it doesn’t matter because all you’ll remember is that Archer is hilarious and you need to watch it.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCG6xGGMEwc&w=560&h=315]

Get yourself an immersion blender.

1 – I was really, really late to guacamole because I’ve always been lukewarm on the avocado. I’m a texture guy and it wasn’t until I started making my own guac with a consistency I liked that I really became obsessed.

It actually started last summer. I was watching a food network episode of The Best Thing I Ever Ate, and Michael Symon professed his love for a version of guacamole that had sage, blue cheese and bacon. Blue cheese and bacon? SOLD. I found a copy-cat recipe online, whipped up a double-batch and brought it to a birthday party. It was gone in under an hour and I had a new go-to for ball games and other get togethers. Traditionalists scoffed. I pushed back. How could adding bacon and blue cheese to anything be bad?

That said, there were problems. I often play fast and loose with my ingredients. A dash of this, a pinch of that. That looks like a [tablespoon/cup/ounce]. When playing around with something that had about 15 ingredients, the final outcome never tasted consistent.

The second problem was I finally tried a version that didn’t have all those extra ingredients and it blew me the hell away.

2 – I’ve mentioned a few of my favorite kitchen items in the past, but never the one that I’ve found the most useful in the past year. Immersion blenders are awesome. They’re powerful, versatile, efficient, easy to clean and store. The good ones will replace your regular blender and food processor. You’ll use them when you want to puree sauces or smooth out your soups. For example, when I’m making tortilla soups I like to use whole tomatoes instead of crushed. They go in the pot to cook and I use the immersion blender to smooth everything out.

I bring this up because it also helps make hella good guac.

Like I said, I’m very big on texture and consistency in my food. Sliced or chunky avocado is a non-starter for me. If it’s smooth and creamy? Now I’m on board. It’s with that in mind I give you my method of making quick and easy traditional guac that you’ll end up making all the goddamn time. I sure as shit do.

Ingredients:
2 avocados
1/4 red onion, roughly chopped
1/2 jalapeno
juice of one lime
1 tbsp cilantro
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp cracked black pepper

I generally buy double what I need, make a batch on Sunday, saving the onion and jalapeno, and make another in the middle of the week. I go through a lot of this stuff.

1 – Put everything in a bowl:

guac1

2 – And use your awesome immersion blender to mix it until you get the consistency you like:

guac2

I don’t know enough about guac to say whether or not this is normal, but I think this stuff is best the next day (or even the day after that) provided you kept it in an air-tight container. The ingredients have had time to work together and the jalapeno has opened up. It just seems more flavorful.

But yea, I’ll go through two of these batches a week, putting it on sandwiches as a spread, or used as a garnishment for soups. Of course I’ll wolf down a bowl with pretzels. Hell I’ll eat it with a spoon. I brought some to a movie night with friends a couple weeks ago. It went from sitting on the counter to sitting in a friend’s lap as they ate it all. It’s so freaking delicious.

3 – If an immersion blender seems like something you’d find useful, this is the one I have. It comes with a variety of attachments and bowls, including the one above I used to make the guac. I can’t imagine you’ll be disapointed in it.

The best bacon you’ve ever made

I had my dual burner non-stick grill pan for six years, and I’ve used it more than any other tool in the kitchen. I think so much of it I bought ’em for friends and family. It’s quick and easy to clean, it doesn’t warp and it cooks incredibly well. But what I love most about it? It’s a bacon-cooking machine.

I used to suck when it came to frying bacon. It didn’t cook evenly, curled and I would end up with burns from grease spattering. Then, a couple years ago, I started making bacon in the oven on my grill pan, and all it did was easily make the best bacon I’d ever tasted.

After some trial and error I decided this was best method:

(note: oven temps vary. You may have to use a little trial and error too.)

1 – Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

2 – Line your sheet with bacon, either across the grill marks or with them. It doesn’t seem to matter.

bacon1

3 – When the oven is up to temperature (my oven takes about seven minutes), pop it in the oven.

4 – Set your timer to 18 minutes. This is probably the max if you want firm, crispy bacon. I like mine just a shade under this and I’ll generally take the bacon out of the oven with a minute to go.

When you do so it looks like this:

bacon2

5 – Transfer the bacon to paper towels…

bacon3

6 – …and transfer the grease to a mason jar for storage in your fridge.

bacon4

7 – INJEST BACON.

bacon5

When you’re done, wait until the pan is okay to touch and give it a quick cleaning. Since the surface is non-stick the clean-up is a brease.

Pick yourself up one of these awesome little bacon machines here.

Thoughtful writing regarding Newtown

Everyone has weighed in on what happened last Friday in Newtown, and I don’t have any kind of unique perspective or insight. Even if I did, it’s probably been written elsewhere and done-so more eloquently. Here is some excellent reading if you’re so inclined.

• A food blogger across the pond weighs in on her native country.

• Actually, yes, now is the time to talk politics.

• “The people who fight and lobby and legislate to make guns regularly available are complicit in the murder of those children.

• Drew Magary says Down with Big Gun.

All of these should be read, the New Yorker piece in particular. They say all that I want to in a much better way.

Some last minute Thanksgiving advice

Thanksgiving is, without a doubt, my favorite holiday of the year. Next to the NFL draft, it may just be my favorite day, period. As someone whose two favorite things are cooking and sports, of course it is. Many of my favorite meals and memories have come on this day. From the good (virtually every dinner my late grandpa made), to the disastrous (my mom’s first introduction to a convection oven – R.I.P. good turkey that day) to the horrifying (you made duck, aunt Cindy? REALLY?).

But last year’s Thanksgiving was exceptional, a revelation, a masterpiece. It couldn’t have gone any better and left all of us wondering why we hadn’t thought of it earlier and it was because of two words:

Thanksgiving lunch.

As much as I try and help on Thanksgiving, I’m usually pretty useless; my grandpa used to own the kitchen when he cooked and now my mom’s got it handled. I ask what I can do, I get a shrug and and a shoo. Last year was no different with one exception: my mom had enough of daytime cooking and missing all the good football. She got up at the crack of dawn to put the turkey in. She made sides the night before. She started a loaf of bread in the morning and finished the potatoes when the turkey came out. At 11:30 am. Thanksgiving dinner turned into Thanksgiving all-day buffet. And it was AWESOME.

Guys, I know it’s last minute, but if you have the ability to do so I implore you to give it a shot. You’re going to love grabbing that first plate of turkey and stuffing and settling in to watch Houston vs Detroit at 12:30pm ET. THAT’S STILL MORNING FOR MOST OF YOU GUYS.

And then? Have a nap! Have a drink or two!! Before you know it the Patriots will be playing the Jets and it’ll be time for SECONDS (or thirds, ya’ll).

Anyway, it’s been a great year. I’ve got hella amounts to be thankful for. So, with a deep breath (seriously, this is a big deal), I’m gonna share a recipe that’s been the centerpiece of every (good) Thanksgiving I’ve ever been apart of: my grandpa’s dressing.

It’s always the first thing people go for when the meal starts, particularly the stuffing that comes out of the dead bird’s ass. It’s so good. My family may disagree with me, but I like to think my grandpa would want this recipe shared with others. It’s too good to keep in the family.

Dressing – (20 lb turkey)

3 qts bread crumbs
5 cups chopped celery
3 cups diced onion
1 1/2 tbsp sage
3/4 tbsp salt
3/4 tsp white pepper
1.5 cups butter
2.5 cups chicken broth (3 cubes)

Directions:
Melt better & sauté onions and celery in it.
Add spices.
Add to bread crumbs & pour the broth over the top. Mix.

Cool stuffing for at least 3 hours before using to stuff turkey.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone.